


But our friends will be gone away

by Ford_Ye_Fiji



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: 254 solidarity, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Mentions of Five/Dolores, Mentions of Lila/Diego, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy-centric, Sibling Bonding, and by that I mean five struggles with self control and Klaus has the time of his life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29099673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji
Summary: Five misses Dolores, Diego stops a mugging, and Klaus is just along for the ride (and the waffles).
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	1. And I guess it's just as well

**Author's Note:**

> This story was actually for the tua zine! This first chapter wasn't in the actual zine because the whole story ran too long so it’s more of some bonus content ^^ the second chapter is the actual zine story 💕

Five was  _ not _ sulking.

He  _wasn’t_. 

Klaus was  _wrong_.

Still, however, Five walked, shoulders hunched and hands in his pockets as said brother babbled on to Diego about some torrid affair he’d gotten into in the sixties. He desperately wished Dolores was here.

Diego glanced back, clearly full of concern that Five didn’t need. Diego nodded at Klaus, only half listening. Five rolled his eyes. He didn’t need their care _or_ their concern. He’d managed perfectly fine on his own for forty-five years and through  two apocalypses. (And saw his siblings dead three times. But that was another matter entirely.) He also most definitely wasn’t sulking over Allison making him walk to Griddy's for breakfast with his brothers. She'd said something about bonding time but that was a load of total bullshit.

Diego shushed Klaus and Five looked up curiously. Diego turned and then motioned carefully for them to follow as he crept down a back alley. Five struggled not to roll his eyes into the next dimension as he grudgingly followed his brother.

Klaus stayed behind them both, his hands reaching toward Five's back instinctively as they followed the low sounds of a scuffle. Five shrugged him off before shooting a glare. Klaus stuck out his tongue. Five's eyes narrowed.

Diego hissed, "Oh great."

They both looked up, peering around the corner of the building, into the alleyway. 

There were three men, both threatening a smaller shaking figure.

Diego stepped into the alley, flicking out a knife as he strode forward, "Hey." 

The men turned. One of them scoffed when they saw Diego. Honestly, Five would’ve done this same.

"Look, stay out of this. This isn’t any of your business."

Diego laughed softly, a low chuckle that Five supposed was probably meant to be full of dangerous warning or some shit like that. It only made Klaus giggle behind his hands and Five groan internally as his brother continued, "Oh, I think it is."

One of the men, the one who'd spoken before, with a hat pulled low snorted, "So we've got ourselves a hero, huh?"

Five sighed as he peeked at the scene from around the corner. _Sickeningly_ cliche.

"Teach him a lesson, boys."

Diego started, knife flying out to catch one of the men drawing a gun. The man cried out in horror and dropped his weapon as the knife pierced his hand. The second one rushed Diego and the hand-to-hand combat was on.

Klaus moved forward, cupping his hands over his mouth, "Get him! Kick him in the kidneys!"

Diego shouted back as they scuffled, "I don’t need your help, Klaus!” he punched the man in the nose and watched him stagger backwards.

Klaus jeered, "I wasn’t talking to you! Look he’s wide open, strange mugger guy! Get him!"

Five crossed his arms, an inexplicable smile twitching at the corners of his mouth as he joined in, "Pick up the gun! You’ve got two hands!" 

The muggers seemed confused at this. The victim was huddling in the corner with baffled terror. The man who appeared to be the leader seemed to be catching on that this wasn’t going to end well for him. Especially now that there appeared to be four witnesses in his alleyway, one of which was throwing knives and putting up an unexpectedly good fight.

He did the sane thing.

He turned and ran.

Now, Five would’ve let him go. Except he knew Diego. They would be out here for another hour chasing this hooligan down until they found him and put him in his place. 

Five decided to expedite matters.

The man bolted for the opposite end of the alleyway and Five vanished from beside Klaus's side. Klaus startled and then looked around, eyes wide.

Five popped back into existence at the far end, watching placidly as the man skidded to a halt in front of him. They both stared, Five up at the man with a dead eyed glare and the man down at him with a horrified expression.

The man pulled out a switchblade.

Five sighed internally, putting his hands in his pockets and mentally recounting all the ways he could get back at his brothers for this. The man opened his mouth probably to threaten him, but Five got there first, "We can do this one of two ways. You can drop the knife now and get arrested like a good little boy or I can disembowel you. Your choice, young man."

The man spluttered, but his fingers tightened around the knife.

Five sighed out through his nose, regretting every decision he’d ever made to get to this point, "Great."

The man lunged and Five pivoted on his heel, grabbing the wrist and twisting. The man cried out, dropping the knife in shock as bone snapped. Five finished the motion bringing him to the ground, arm behind his back and foot now planted firmly on his spine. Five cocked his head as the man struggled, "Seriously, are you ready to give up now?"

The man swung out with his free hand, Five throwing himself backwards as dirt was flung into his eyes.

He rubbed at them, spitting, managing to get his sight back by the time the man recovered his knife. Five dodged the first wild swing, warping behind the man. The mugger looked around, surprised.

Five tapped on his shoulder and the man turned, swinging with a little shriek. His knife cut through air. Five appeared behind him again, smirking, a cat playing with its food. It would’ve gone on longer, if one of Diego’s knives hadn’t imbedded itself in the man's shoulder, blood splattering Five. The man fell with a shout, whimpering on the ground.

Five sighed, and wiped at his face, before turning to face Diego who was slightly winded, standing over the two other unconscious muggers.

Five raised an eyebrow, irritated at the interruption, "I had it under control."

Diego snorted, walking forwards to retrieve his knife, "Didn’t anyone tell you not to play with your food, brother?"

Five glowered up at him, folding his arms and once again furious at how short he was in comparison, "Didn’t anyone tell you not to stick your nose where it doesn’t belong?"

Klaus piped up from behind the two of them, "Didn't anyone tell you that I can fit sixteen mini marshmallows up my nose?"

They both turned to face him with exasperated and annoyed looks.

Five hung his head back, "Klaus, what the actual hell-“

Diego shushed him and Five couldn’t believe him, he couldn’t _actually_ be interested, "No, no, go on. What else can you fit up there?"

Klaus seemed delighted at this indulgence, "Well, not up there. But Ben dared me once to see what I could put up my a-“

"Alright!" Five grit his teeth, fingers twitching, "Can we just get breakfast now? Please?"

Diego snorted, but nodded, "Sure, Five." 

Klaus pouted, "But what about my story?"

Five pinched the bridge of his nose, "Fine. Whatever. Tell me your stupid story."

Klaus brightened.

Five hoped that he could get his coffee soon, before he murdered his family.


	2. But I miss your face like hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The actual zine fic starts here ✌️

Five groaned, head in his hands, annoyance manifesting itself in the massive crick in his neck. Klaus behind him laughed, waving a hand airily, "Oh please Diego, I think I’d know more about this than you."

Five grit his teeth, glowering at his two quarreling brothers from behind his cup of coffee. They were, quite literally, being a pain in his neck. It hadn’t helped that he’d been feeling distinctly off all day. He still wasn’t used to the fact that the apocalypse was over, that they were back in their own timeline, and that there wasn’t anything he needed to do anymore. He had no mission, and that was something he was _not_ used too.

In times like these, he usually consulted Dolores but she was...

Five hunched lower.

Diego scoffed at Klaus, leaning back in the plush leather seats of the diner, "No, you don’t.  I know more about romance. Lila betrayed her own _mother_ for me."

Klaus scoffed, "Excuse me? What about-“ 

Five interrupted them, hoping to nip this argument in the bud, "Please, all of your romantic interests broke up with you, Diego."

Klaus snickered.

Diego opened his mouth with outrage, " _Excuse me?_ "

Klaus spoke up, a smirk pulling at his lips, "I think little Number Five has a very good point, Diego."

Diego glared, mouth working from his effort to stay civil.

Five rubbed his brows. Diego wasn’t going to be quiet for long.

His brother snapped, as predicted, gesturing angrily with one of his knives, "Five isn’t one to talk. He’s a fifty eight year old child who grew up at the end of the world in complete isolation. He is  _not_ an expert on romance."

Five momentarily contemplated grabbing his brother's knife and jamming it in his throat. Unfortunately, that would make all his hard work for nothing, so he didn’t, but the option was still  intensely tempting. 

Klaus pressed a hand to his chest, shocked, "Excuse me, Diego?" He pulled, or at least tried to pull, Five closer to him. Five smacked his hand away, "Five is the love  _expert_! He was married for over thirty years!"

There was a slight cough and all three of them glanced up at the waitress looking down on them, an eyebrow raised in question, "Your waffles...?"

Klaus clapped his hands, almost childlike in his eagerness, "Yes!" 

Diego took his with a forced smile, "Thanks. Appreciate it."

Five merely grunted and at his brother's glare gave her a tight smile and a strained, "Thank you, young lady."

Klaus coughed under his breath, "Old man.”

Five shot him a glare.

The waitress remained unfazed, thankfully, and nodded. She threw one curious backwards glance at the three of them as she walked off. Five supposed they must make a sight.

Klaus was wearing the most extravagant clothes he could steal from Allison and some flashy barrettes that could only have come from the nineties. Diego was in his superhero getup, complete with his ridiculous amount of knives, significantly battered from the mugging he'd stopped this morning on their way to breakfast.

For the record, Five hadn’t helped him, merely stood back and watched as Klaus cheered on. Well, he did intervene to stop one of them from escaping into the street. He still had the blood and dirt on his uniform to prove it, which probably wasn’t helping their status with the waitress either. He'd make sure to leave a tip for her later.

Five's attention was drawn back to the table and he watched with disgust as Klaus dug into his waffles. They were loaded with at least three different types of fruit, whipped cream, and possibly every single syrup in the place.

Diego took out his fork and asked, picking up where they’d left off, because apparently it was too much to hope for that they’d forget about the conversation, "Yeah, whatever happened to Dolores anyway?"

Five picked at his food, trying not to think too much about her, headache sharpening, "I dropped her off back at the store. It’s where she belongs anyway."

Klaus looked taken aback, "What? You- you  dumped Dolores?"

Five hissed, "I didn’t  _dump_ her. Look- I know what she is, okay? I just... she’s safer there. She's with her friends again." He glared into his coffee, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge that his eyes were suspiciously wet, "And as much I love her, she’s right. I need to let the apocalypse go."

Klaus sniffed and he seemed genuinely upset about it, "Awww, Five." He pulled him close and Five let him this time with no small amount of resignation, "I’m so proud of you. I’m sure Dolores is living happy with all her friends."

Diego nodded, shooting Klaus an ‘ _I’ll kill you later_ '  glare before eyeing his other brother, "Yeah, bro. I’m sure she misses you a lot. But I also think she knows that this is for the best."

Five frowned at him, almost sulking, "How do you know what Dolores thinks?"

Diego leaned back, arms folded, "I talked to her, remember? Back at the house, the first go around. With Patch. Real long conversation."

Five blinked and then nodded, "Yeah, you kinda did, I guess."

Klaus pulled Five close. Five stubbornly remained still before his brother adapted, draping himself over him, in some strange blanket version of a hug, “Good! Glad that’s settled! Five's the love expert, I'm better at romance than Diego is," Diego gave a muffled and offended ' _hey!_ ' as Klaus continued blissfully to Five who had resumed trying to eat his food, "Now, you eat your waffles young man."

Five stopped, waffles halfway to mouth, to spit, "I will stab you in the eye with your own fork, Klaus."

Klaus choked on a laugh, pulling him closer into his embrace.

Diego snorted, stabbing at his food.

And, for some reason, Five's headache was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is here: https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/


End file.
